The Ephesians Test
Jesus says in Matthew 12:33-34, CSB...
“Either make the tree good and its fruit will be good or make the tree bad, and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you speak good things when you are evil? For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.”
What is in our hearts will naturally flow out of our lips. If you don’t like what is coming out of your mouth, it would be a good time to check what’s going on in your heart. Knowing the source of your words before you speak them can save you and those around you from much heartache. If we are led by the Holy Spirit, there will never be a time when we speak out in anger and don’t regret the words that come from our lips. This is why David says in Psalm 141:3, CSB “Lord, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.”
When we speak, we can use the Ephesians 4:29 test:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Do not let any unwholesome speech come out of your mouths...
Is it appropriate? Appropriate for the setting you’re in and the people you are around? Are my words offensive? Obnoxious? Unwholesome?
...but only what is helpful for building others up...
Is it encouraging? Will speaking up be beneficial for the other person, or will it just shame them or make them feel bad? You can never go wrong with encouragement.
...according to their needs...
Does it meet the recipient’s needs? Or does it just benefit me? Is it a way for me to get what I want? Am I just venting my emotions, and I feel better, but now the other person feels horrible?
...that it will benefit those who listen.
Will it help them? Are they in a position to hear from you right now, or are they clouded by emotion? Do you have the relational capital to speak truth to them, or will they dismiss your advice? Are you aware of who else is listening? Sometimes, your kids or your coworkers are around you and are listening to everything you do.
Written by Carrie Botkin
Carrie Botkin is the Campus Director at the Scripps Ranch Campus and a member of the Lead Team at Newbreak. She loves adventuring around San Diego with her husband, Matt, two kids and their pug named Marshmallow. Carrie has been on staff at Newbreak for 21 years. She believes in the mission, vision and values of Newbreak and loves seeing lives changed through Jesus!